


The Art of Growing Roots

by captain_trashmouth



Series: Bounty and Boundary [3]
Category: Promare (2019)
Genre: Big Himbo Hours, Comedy, M/M, No Thoughts Brain Empty, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Period Typical Attitudes, Slice of Life, Starting Over, Vignette
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:35:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22286476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captain_trashmouth/pseuds/captain_trashmouth
Summary: Even former outlaws can learn to settle down.Retirement and what comes after.A series of short vignettes set in the Bounty and Boundary universe.All events take place after To Quench and Temper, the second work in this series.
Relationships: Gueira/Meis (Promare), Lio Fotia/Galo Thymos
Series: Bounty and Boundary [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1577083
Comments: 7
Kudos: 28





	The Art of Growing Roots

**Author's Note:**

> Galo needs to learn more about what he wants from Lio, and turns to Meis and Gueira for help.  
> It does not go as expected.
> 
> Warnings: crass cis-gendered discussion of body parts. 
> 
> This chapter takes place in the time BETWEEN the Aftermath and Epilogue chapters of His Hands Stained With Wine. You will need to have read that piece for this work to make sense.

At the table in the Burnish house, a highly uncomfortable Galo Thymos glared hard at the whiskey in his glass, as if it had personally offended him. He looked like steam would come out of his ears at any second, and his face was pinched like he’d smelled something foul. His head swam as he clamped down on the words that threatened to spill out of his mouth. He felt stupid. He was too drunk for this and he should have gone home hours ago. Only idiots tried to outdrink Meis and Gueira, and well. Galo was nothing if not an idiot. 

“You said you came here to talk, so what’s the problem?” Gueira said, his chin propped up on his fist as he casually smoked a cigarette. Meis glared at him when ash fell on the floor. “Spit it out already.” 

“Gueira, use the ashtray. You weren’t raised in a fucking barn,” Meis scolded, but Gueira just stuck his tongue out at him.

Galo jolted as if he’d remembered that he was not alone at the table. This wasn’t even his house. Christ above, he was a mess. “I, uh…” he stammered, words a little fuzzy at the edges where the liquor had started to weigh down his tongue. 

“What exactly,” Meis sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Is the goddamn issue? You stormed in here like your ass was on fire, demanding that we help you and now you sit there like a fucking stump, saying nothing. It’s been two hours. What the hell happened?” He stubbed out his own cigarette in a little bowl on the table and lit up another.

Galo whined, high and frustrated, and downed the rest of his drink before slumping over to bang his forehead down on the tabletop. He did not look up as he muttered, “I want Lio to fuck me, but I don’t know how it works.”

Gueira and Meis exchanged a confused look, neither quite able to hear him. The redhead leaned forward a bit saying, “Sorry, could you repeat that?”

“Jesus, Galo. Talk to us instead of the table.” Meis loved his boss and therefore Galo by default, he really did, but this was asking a lot of his already thin patience. Galo was quickly getting on his last nerve. 

Galo groaned, but did not sit up. Squeezing his eyes shut, he screwed up every ounce of liquid courage he had and repeated his previous statement. However, his alcohol-muddled brain lost control of the volume, and he shouted it so loud that the stray dog that lived outside the Burnish farmhouse started barking. Gueira and Meis sat dumbfounded and shocked, staring back at him as if he had told them that he’d laid a golden egg that morning and had started growing flowers out of his ears. Galo wailed like the over-sized drunken toddler he was, completely humiliated, then began sliding down in his chair until only his eyes and hair were visible above the edge of the table.

Gueira was the first to regain his sensibilities. The redhead barked out a frantic, slightly panicked laugh. “Wait,” he began, holding up his hands in a mollifying gesture. “You don’t know how _what_ works?”

“You know… _It._ ” Galo waved his hand vaguely, motioning in the air. “All of it. I’ve never... Done it before.” He still sat with his face squashed against the table.

“But you know how babies are made, right?” Gueira asked, his voice rising in pitch as he realized what he was about to become responsible for. “Are you saying that you don’t even know that much?”

The sheriff sat up at that, his forehead marred by an angry red line from the edge of the tabletop. “Never really had much interest in the matter,” Galo replied sardonically. “Considering that I only like men and have never been with anyone but Lio.” 

Gueira sat back and crossed himself, looking shell shocked and at a loss for words. Meis looked like he’d sucked a lemon. “Are you asking us to tell you about how it works? Is that what this is about?”

Galo tossed him a grateful look. “Yes, please, for the love of God. I know it’s a lot to ask of you.”

Meis looked skeptical. “Don’t you think you should just talk to Lio about this?” he asked, as if it were the obvious answer to all of this.

“If I ask Lio about this, he’ll think I don’t want to do it at all or that I’m scared,” Galo pouted. “He won’t touch me at all if he thinks that I don’t want something.”

“That’s part of being a good lover, Galo.” Gueira sighed, then raised an eyebrow in challenge. “But be honest, are you scared, sheriff? Pretty dark waters you’re looking to wade into. Might get you into some deep trouble.”

“Gueira,” Meis hissed at him. “We will not get anywhere by being rude.” He turned to address the sheriff again, who was growing progressively sweatier and redder as the conversation continued. “Galo. What exactly is it that you don’t understand?”

“Uh,” Galo looked down, flushing hot and wringing his hands. He hated every second of this, but he had to do it. For Lio. “Well, uh… Where… does it... go?” 

“Where does what g- Oh. _Oh_ ,” Meis cut himself off, pinching his lips together to hold back his laughter. “Well, think about it.”

Gueira interrupted, flustered and insulted by Galo’s ignorance on the matter. “You are aware that ladies have two holes, right?” He held up two fingers. “The pussy,” he said, bending one finger. “And the…” He wiggled the second finger, waving his hand expectantly as he prompted Galo to fill in the blank. He did not. Meis snickered, knowing full well that this exercise would be in vain. 

“What is there to think about?” Gueira flapped his hands when Galo’s face held its vacant expression. “Galo! You either have a pussy or you don’t, and last time I checked, you decidedly do not! If you take away that option, what do you have left!?” Gueira howled, shrill and upset at the state of the world and the empty, empty mind of Galo Thymos. Meis was cackling as his lover became increasingly more agitated.

Galo stared at him blankly for a moment. “I don’t understand.”

“How have you _survived this long_?!” Gueira screeched, ready to pull his hair out. He looked desperately at Meis, at a loss for words. 

Meis’ laughter had since turned to little hiccups and he collected himself as best he could. He rubbed his temples in an effort to ward off what was most certainly going to become a headache. Lio had better be fucking grateful for this, because it was so far above and beyond the call of duty to educate your friend’s dumbass lover. “It goes up your ass, Galo.”

The sheriff just looked confused, and Meis heaved a long-suffering sigh. “The cock goes in your ass if a man is fucking you.” He included very deliberate hand motions to illustrate his point. 

That seemed to do the trick, as Galo’s eyes slowly climbed into his hairline, so high that Gueira thought that they might actually disappear into that mop. In dawning realization, he whispered, “ _Oh._ ”

Meis snorted, trying not to laugh again at this poor unfortunate soul. “Yeah, oh. Where did you think it wou- you know what? Never mind. I don’t want to know.”

Galo mentally did some math, comparing what he knew of Lio’s body and his own. Coming up to a clear conclusion, he smacked a hand over his mouth, his eyes the size of dinner plates. “ _How would it even fit in there?_ ” he whispered bewildered and a little scared, his voice rising an octave as he began to have a small crisis.

Gueira held up his hand and wiggled his fingers, grinning sharply. He’d given up teaching him, and instead had decided to see just how much teasing Galo could take before he broke. “Well, you have to stretch it out.”

“ _You have to stretch it out?!_ ” He knew he was shrieking, but it was too late to stop. Galo thought he was going to spontaneously burst into flames and die. God was going to manifest before him and strike him down, and he would deserve it for being so desperate for Lio’s dick that he’d sunk to these depths.

“Yep,” Gueira replied, popping the ‘p’. “Gotta do it real thorough and go slow, or it hurts.” Gueira’s accent changed a little when he’d been drinking, his drawl more drawn out and his words a little looser. Not to mention his far more lecherous behavior. “Gotta fit like three or four fingers up there before you can get to the real thing. Right, baby?” At that, Gueira leered as he threw his arm around Meis, whose face was now nearly as red as Galo’s. A thoroughly embarrassed Meis put his hand over Gueira’s entire face and shoved him away. 

Galo sat stunned. “Huh.” He realized that he knew nothing about anything, and that he was in way over his head. He had a lot to think about, but he was certain about one thing: Lio was absolutely going to eat him alive.


End file.
